


A Dog Ate My Homework

by TrashLord_007



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Conspiracy Theories, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Just Tsukki being Tsukki, Movie References, No Relationship, No Romance, No Spoilers, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Writing Prompt Wednesday, snarky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 09:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10408872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashLord_007/pseuds/TrashLord_007
Summary: He refused to back down and pretend he didn't do the homework just to escape the uncomfortable encounter. There was no way in Hell he would back down after spending a whole weekend on it, not after he had wrestled a dog to try to get the damn thing back, and especially not after his teacher had decided to challenge him. Tsukishima was no quitter, after all, and a dangerous smirk spread across his face.Challenge accepted.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt;;  
> In an ironic twist, a dog really ate your homework. When you try to explain this to your teacher she says, “Come on, you can do better than that excuse.” Instead of arguing, you take that as a challenge and come up with an elaborate story as to what happened to your homework.

    He didn't quite understand how he landed in this situation, but he was furious. While everyone else turned in the essay, he decided the best tactic was to slump into his chair and try to avoid his teacher's gaze. He just had to play it cool until lunch, then he could print it out once more and add it to the rest without her ever being the wiser. Except his misfortunes only grew as she told the class to work out of their textbooks whilst grabbing her red pen. Just when he thought his day couldn't get any worse, she began to mark through the essays at a rapid pace as the class worked in silence. Waiting for lunch was no longer an option as she neared the end of the pile. He needed to print it out now, and somehow distract her long enough to slip it onto her desk, or she’d knock down his grade by at least fifty percent for being late. Tsukki thought of himself as a pretty smart guy, calculating and observant, but he was stumped on how to pull this off. Sighing, he raised his hand. She offered him a quick glare before returning to her papers, eliciting a scowl from the boy. 

    “Is it important, Tsukishima-san?” 

    “Suzuki-sensei, may I be excused? I need to go to the bath-” 

    He trailed off as she stood, the **screech** of her chair echoing through the room. With slow, deliberate steps, she stalked across the room, her face devoid of all tolerance. Tsukki wasn't one for making excuses anyway, but he knew better than to provoke her with a lie. His scowl deepened as he prepared himself for her scolding, “You need to go to the library because you forgot to do your homework? Oh please, give me one good reason to let you. Perhaps you just remembered it's worth a large percentage of your grade? Go ahead, Tsukishima-kun, enlighten me.”

    The audible click of his tongue broke the silence that had descended upon the room. He may not be a model student, but his grades weren't terrible either. His attitude may have been provoking at times, but he did his best to kept his comments about the teachers to himself. Sure, some slipped out under his breath, but not often enough to deserve this. It was obvious that problem wasn’t with him, but rather with something personal. Whatever it was was enough to bother his usually spunky and upbeat teacher, but he didn’t really care to find out. Not that she would tell him, anyway. He sighed once more, a little louder, before letting his eyes meet hers, “A dog ate my homework.”

    Silence once again fell heavy across the room, his teacher blinking twice with disbelief before scoffing, “Are you _serious?_ That's the best you can do?”

    “Yes, because it's the truth. I was reviewing the essay on the way here when a dog grabbed it from over the fence. I tried to get it back, but I was already late. So I came to class instead.”

    A smile danced at the edge of her lips before straightening down into a frown, “Oh, come on, Tsukishima-kun. You can do better than that.”

    Irritation seeped through him as he matched her frown. He shouldn't need to do better because it wasn't an excuse; a dog really had stolen his homework and torn it to shreds. Everyone was staring at them now, amused by the exchange. He couldn't blame them - had it been anyone else getting the lecture, he wouldn't miss the chance to throw in a jab or two. Much to his chagrin, however, he was on the receiving end. He refused to back down and pretend he didn't do the homework just to escape the uncomfortable encounter. There was no way in Hell he would back down after spending a whole weekend on it, not after he had wrestled a dog to try to get the damn thing back, and especially not after his teacher had decided to challenge him. Tsukishima was no quitter, after all, and a dangerous smirk spread across his face.

    _Challenge accepted._

    “You figured me out, sensei. The truth is,” he paused for effect, his smirk widening, “I work with the government to cover up close encounters of the third kind. I guess you could say that I'm a man in black. We do have quite a few conspiracy nuts around here, and usually their calls about UFO sightings are wrong and their crop circles are faked, but this weekend was a real treat. There was an honest-to-goodness encounter of the _fifth_ kind.”

    Standing from his seat, he sauntered to the front of the class, ignoring the surprised gasps from his peers. He grabbed a marker and began to write on the board as he continued, “For those of you who don't know today’s science-fiction, which is tomorrow’s science fact, close encounters are separated into five types, or kinds.

    “The first kind is a sighting of a UFO,” he did his best to keep pace with what he was writing on the board, mimicking the distracted tone his teacher takes on when multitasking, “which becomes the second kind when there's physical or observable evidence left behind. If beings are seen within a spacecraft, that becomes the third kind. Now, things get interesting when we reach the _fourth_ kind. That's when someone is taken aboard the vessel _and experimented on_.

    “As you can imagine, events like these are pretty rare. Real ones, at least. We get plenty of calls all the time from xenophiles, I'm on a first name basis with one from Seijoh even,” he didn't expect anyone to catch the zinger directed at Aoba Johsai’s volleyball captain, but that didn't stop him from giving himself a mental pat on the back.

    Much to his surprise, one of the timid girls that sat in the back raised her hand. A blush crept over her ears and nose as he made eye contact. She didn’t look away, but her blush did deepen. Unsure of what she wanted, or even how to proceed, he sighed. He couldn't recall her name, so he didn't bother with it, “Uh, yeah?”

    “You said there’s five ‘kinds’,” she hesitated, cowering into her chair under his gaze, until he nodded, “what's the fifth?”

    “Well I'm glad you asked. The fifth kind is the _best_ kind. That's direct communication with the extraterrestrial beings,” His lips twitched upward at the sound of the unanimous gasps, “but I can't discuss any of those cases with you, they're classified after all.”

    The girl didn't bother to raise her hand this time, opting to shout instead, “But you _have_ had cases! You said you had one this weekend!”

    Tsukishima was enjoying himself; he was enjoying watching his fellow students try to determine whether or not he was serious. While it should be quite obvious that no one in their right mind would be serious about this topic, his classmates had never seen him joke around this much before. It seemed out of character only because they didn't process just how much sarcasm was laced into every sentence. He was rather enjoying this small prank so much that he had forgotten about his teacher. In fact, he had forgotten why he was even standing in the front of the classroom. His attention was drawn to the back when he heard his sensei’s soft chuckles. Not only had he wasted a decent portion of her time on his bullshit story, he had wasted everyone’s time and stolen their attention from their work. Yet she didn't look angry. She was grinning from ear to ear and offered him a quick thumbs up before leaning against the back wall. Deciding this was permission enough, he carried on with his outlandish story, “Like I said, top secret... But yeah, they're pretty chill when you get to know them. Most are more scared of you than you are of them. Which is why I couldn't do my homework, Suzuki-senpai - I was detained all weekend trying to protect our alien overlords from a basket of cuteness overload in the form of forty-two kittens. Those cats are just so stubborn, and E.T is unbelievably gullible when it comes to wily kittens. Couldn't keep them apart, even after we discovered they’re deathly allergic. We had to buy them hypoallergenic calicos.”

    He smirked once more at his teacher as the bell for lunch rang, and the room burst into chatter about his outrageous tale. She beckoned him to the back of the room with a flick of her hand, face relaxing into a smirk of her own. He couldn't help but think she was quite similar to him, just more bitchy. Not that he'd ever mention that to her. As he approached, she brought her hands together in a slow clap as a goofy yet lazy grin graced her features. Tsukishima quickened his pace; the last thing he wanted was for her to make another scene. 

    “So a dog ate your homework, then? Have it on my desk by the end of the day, I won't mark it down,” His eyes widened in shock before he offered a small bow, “Oh, and Tsukishima-san, let's not make a habit of it.”  


**Author's Note:**

> "Today's science fiction is tomorrow’s science fact." -- Isaac Asimov.
> 
> Thanks to my coworker Estee for the word 'zinger' (:


End file.
